


Whiplash

by Robin_tCJ



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cap-IM Bingo, Feels, Fix-It of Sorts, Future Fic, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Post-The Avengers: Infinity War, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Feels, less vague description of injury, vague description of injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 00:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11543262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_tCJ/pseuds/Robin_tCJ
Summary: There's no such thing as the right moment – only a moment too late. Steve refuses to let that be how it ends.After Thanos, Steve and Tony both have regrets.This is a fill for my Cap-IM Bingo square prompt, "whiplash".





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to smolsofa for the beta! <3

Tony hasn’t slept. He’s been unconscious a few times in the last week, but he hasn’t _slept_. He’s been plagued by waking nightmares and flashes of blood and fire, and who the hell could sleep through that?

He hasn’t mourned, either. He can’t, not yet. It’s too much. Too much death and destruction and

 _(he’ll come out of this he has to come out of this_ )

wrenching loss.

The steady stream of doctors and nurses and candy stripers has petered off by now. The first few days, they’d been in every hour to check on the monitors, check vitals, check X-rays. But now they’ve moved on to patients they can help – surgeries and procedures on the survivors that have been newly unearthed from the rubble.

He scrubs a hand through his hair, rubbing over his face. His stubble is sharp and rough, and he knows he looks unkempt. Natasha had forced him to shower a couple of days ago, but he hadn’t been gone long. An hour or two at most, and then he’d dropped back into the padded leather chair and stared down at pale, bruised skin, wild hair, and a soft beard.

( _you should have told him you loved him, you fucking coward)_

Whiplash. That’s what the doctors had said. It’s not, of course, the only thing they’d said. Severe damage to the thoracic spine, swelling of the brain, a punctured lung, internal hemorrhaging.

The chart doesn’t describe how Thanos had nearly gutted him. He’d cracked Steve over his knee like he was nothing more than dry kindling, and Tony had thought that was it. No one could survive

( _70 years in the ice didn’t kill him but this will)_

that kind of injury, that many wounds and contusions and broken bones.

But when Thanos had dropped him, let him fall to the ground like yesterday’s

( _every bit o’ litter hurts, oh yeah, oh yeah)_

garbage, bleeding and limp, Steve had twitched. He’d moved, arm coming up and reaching for the shield beside him

( _my father made that shield you don’t deserve it)_

and Tony had shot off like a rocket. His armour was dented and scratched and he was pretty sure his ankle was broken

( _he would confirm later that it was_ )

but it didn’t matter because Steve was still alive. Steve was alive and reaching for his shield – the new shield Tony had designed for him – because he would fight until the bitter end, he would fight until he died

( _I can do this all day)_

and Tony could see Thanos notice, see Thanos scowl and stare down at Steve, and the next blow _would_ be death, there was no way Thanos wouldn’t kill him now, so Tony had put all his power into his repulsors and shot past Thanos, scooping Steve up as he went, getting him the fuck out of there.

And, it would appear, given him whiplash.

_(your fault this is your fault)_

Traumatic brain injury in conjunction with acute whiplash of the cervical spine. Tony had caused it, when he’d grabbed Steve and rocketed off with him.

Steve had already saved him, after all. He’d come flying out of nowhere and knocked Tony out of the way before Thanos could grab his fragile human throat and crush his windpipe, and the thanks he’d gotten had been being nearly bent in two, so hard and loud that Tony had heard the cracking noise like a gunshot. So Tony had tried to save Steve back.

( _save him save him save him)_

He’d gotten Steve away, but he’d been unconscious, unresponsive, and almost unrecognizable.

Tony had thought he’d been dead after all.

But there was a pulse, weak and thready but _there_ , so Tony had handed Steve off

( _it had killed him to do it, he’s sure he’ll have nightmares about it for the rest of his life)_

to the nearest medic and gone back to the fight, back to saving the world.

Steve hadn’t died.

Others had. Friends had.

Heroes had.

But Steve lived, and Tony has spent the last week by his bedside, waiting for him to wake up.

And then Steve’s eyes finally flutter open.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing he notices is that it’s quiet. The last thing he remembers is chaos, explosions and screaming and terror all around. The rushing noise of slicing through the air, flashes of shiny red metal, the soft blue glow of an arc reactor. Pain.

God, there’s an awful lot of pain.

But now, it’s quiet. There are far away noises, but he can ignore them.

He still hurts, though. His head is throbbing, and his mouth feels swollen and sour. He swallows hard, takes a deep breath because he has to get up. Whatever’s happened, he has to make sure everyone is okay He has to make sure Thanos is gone. He can’t waste time laying in bed – and that’s where he is, he realizes, in a hospital bed – when the world is still at war.

Just one more deep breath, and then he can get up and help.

He opens his eyes, and they feel like lead, like the inside of his eyelids might be made of sandpaper. Still, he does it.

The room is bright, even with the lights dimmed. He has the sudden thought that maybe this isn’t a _friendly_ hospital, that maybe he’s been captured

( _they wouldn’t let him be captured would they? Only if they couldn’t save him, couldn’t help him – only if there were dead)_

or maybe he’s slept for another 70 years. That thought rocks him, makes his heart pound with panic, so he looks around wildly to see if he’s alone

( _oh god what if they’re all dead)_

and spots him.

Tony.

Tony is staring at him as though he’s come back from the dead

_(and maybe he has, again)_

but he doesn’t look much older. Exhausted and wan, sure, but not older. He hasn’t shaved in a couple of days and he looks rumpled, but when Steve breathes out a sigh of relief, Tony’s face transforms, grinning down at him.

Steve hasn’t seen Tony grin in a long time, and it makes his chest tight. God, he’s missed Tony’s smile.

“About time you got your lazy ass out of bed, Cap,” Tony tells him, but the cockiness of his words is undermined by the slight tremor in his voice.

“Tony,” Steve sighs, giving him a faint smile. “You’re okay.”

Tony blinks down at him. “Of _course_ I’m okay, Cap. They’d have to work a lot harder than that to bring _me_ down.”

Steve drinks in the sight of him – as tired and mussed as he is, he’s _Tony_ , with his flashing smile and sparkling brown eyes and cocky, ridiculous swagger.

“Don’t try to move yet,” Tony tells him. “There’s some damage to your spine. And your neck, and your head, and your lungs – you’re healing, of course, but it’s taking a while, and the doctors think, based on the rate of healing, it might take a month or so until you can even start rehab. You can’t – you won’t be able to walk for a bit. They’re pretty sure you’ll heal up, but not yet.”

Steve swallows. Glances down his body at his legs, which don’t so much as twitch when he tries to move them. It’s a strange, terrifying feeling, but he pushes it away from his mind. Tony said it would be fine, so it’ll be fine. He’s alive. They both are – that’s what matters.

Steve could stare at him all day. God, he’s missed Tony. The whole mess with the Accords was just – it had hurt, losing Tony. He’d been almost ready to tell him. How he’d felt.

He’d kept it to himself for years. Tony was with Pepper, Steve had no right. No claim to Tony. So he’d shoved it down, locked it up, ignored it and looked everywhere else.

And then Tony had told him he and Pepper were taking a break, and Steve thought, _maybe now_. But they’d argued again, and then everything had happened with Zemo, and Bucky, and he’d had to –

But it hadn’t mattered, when they’d found out what was coming. The Accords would mean nothing if Earth fell to Thanos and his army, so they had put aside their differences and worked together again.

And it had been glorious. It had made Steve’s skin sing to be working _with_ Tony again, to be on the same side.

And then he’d watched Thanos coming for Tony, his face ugly and snarling, and had done the only thing he could think of. He’d put himself between Thanos and Tony, and then it had been nothing but pain… until there had been nothing at all.

He knows he should ask after the others. It had been – he’d seen some of them fall, but it had been chaotic, and he doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t even know if they’d won.

But right now, the only thing he can think of is Tony’s face, transforming from that cocky grin. The corners of Tony’s mouth turn down, and his brows furrow, and his eyes spark like flint.

“What the hell were you thinking, Cap?”

Steve blinks. Wait, is Tony _mad_ at him?

“I was _thinking_ I needed to keep you alive.”

“Well, _don’t_ ,” Tony hisses, fists balling on his knees. He’s shaking, minutely, and high spots of colour are blooming on his cheeks. “Don’t _ever_ do that again. The world can live without Tony Stark, Cap, but it _needs_ you.”

“What are you talking about? Of course the world needs you, too.”

“You’re _Captain America_ ,” Tony growled. “A symbol of righteousness and freedom and – and even after the Accords, even after the UN declared you a goddamned _war criminal_ , you’re still what the world wants when it asks for a hero.”

“Tony –”

“Nope, I’m talking now,” Tony says sharply, leaning forward in the chair he’s sitting in. “You have thrown yourself in the line of fire in every fight you’ve ever been in, and it’s never, ever occurred to you that _the world needs you alive_. You are _Steve Rogers_ and the world needs you.”

“Tony –” Steve tries again, but Tony’s having none of it.

“There are not a lot of heroes left in this world, Steve, even before Thanos brought his army to bear, and you’re one of the best of them. Even when you were fighting against _me_ , I could see it. You fight for the underdog, for the downtrodden, for what’s right. No matter what it costs you, you’ll fight as hard as you can until you can’t fight anymore. And then you’ll throw one more goddamned punch just to make sure.” Tony stands up, and he grabs a cane Steve hadn’t seen before to keep himself steady. He has one foot in a cast, bent up behind him, and Steve stares at it. At the strangely delicate-looking toes bared at the end of the cast, soft looking and pale.

Tony glares mutinously down at him. “You can’t keep – you can’t keep _doing_ this, Steve. If anyone is going to survive, if _anyone_ is going to come out on top and be the big hero at the end of the day, it needs to be _you_ , not _me_. I’m a goddamned mess, Rogers, but you? You’re the world’s first superhero. You’re the original model, Cap, and the world needs you around a little longer.”

“I couldn’t let him –”

“You _could_ ,” Tony growls. “I almost watched you _die for me_ , Steve. I can’t – you can’t understand how that felt. I thought you were going to _die_ in front of me. In my arms. I thought – I’d never – fuck, Steve, I couldn’t live with that –”

Tony breaks off with a ragged breath.

“And you think I could?” Steve asks, hating the way he sounds. He’s hoarse and his chest is tight and his throat is cracking, but he has to get it out. They lost people. He’d almost lost Tony. “You think I could stand by and watch you die and just, what, move along? That’s not –” he chokes out a half-laugh, but there’s no mirth in it. “That’s not how this goes, Tony. When I thought he was going to get you – when I thought you were – I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle the idea of something happening to you, Tony.”

Tony stares down at him. “It would have been easier for you than it would have been for me,” he finally says, his voice flat. “You know that.”

“No, I don’t!” Steve snaps.

“Yes, you _do_ , Steve. You know how I feel about – about – the mission.” Tony turns his chin and stares at the floor, breaking away from Steve’s intent gaze.

“That’s not what you were going to say,” Steve says, knowing it in his bones. Could Tony feel – the way Steve feels? “What were you going to say, Tony?”

“Nothing,” Tony says, and he turns back to Steve. His face transforms into a brittle smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. We’re both okay, so it doesn’t matter.”

Steve stares at him for a long time, studying his face, searching his eyes. Tony pokes his tongue out to wet his dry lips, and that seals it for Steve.

He’d almost died. Tony had almost died, and Steve had almost died, and Steve’s sick and tired of waiting for the right moment. If this all has taught him nothing else, it’s that there is no right moment – there’s only a moment too late.

He refuses to let that moment come.

“I think it does,” Steve murmurs, his voice strong and firm. Tony blinks in confusion, and then Steve decides to go for it – he reaches out and fists Tony’s shirt in his hand, yanking Tony down. At the same time, Steve lurches up and captures Tony’s mouth in a kiss.

Tony stills, not moving, and not breathing, while Steve kisses him. Steve’s almost ready to admit defeat, almost ready to admit he’s misread the situation, but then Tony groans, low in his throat, and leans into the contact, kissing back for all he’s worth.

It starts out hard and heated, possessive and claiming, but soon they both slow, exploring one another’s mouths, lips and tongues caressing gently.

After what feels like an eternity and barely an instant, Tony pulls away from him. His eyes are glazed and dark, his lips slick and pink. He’s breathing a little harshly, blinking.

“That’s – uh.”

“Tony?” Steve says, slowly unclenching his fist from Tony’s shirt. He reaches that same hand up to Tony’s face, cupping the side of it and letting his thumb brush Tony’s lower lip carefully. “Stop thinking so hard.”

Tony stares at him. “I don’t – I’m gonna be honest here, Cap, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

Steve smirks up at him, trying to tamp down the fluttering feeling in his chest. Tony had kissed him back. He had kissed Tony, and Tony had kissed him back.

“This matters, too,” Steve whispers.

And then Tony’s whole face relaxes, and a slow grin materializes on his face.

“I suppose it does,” Tony agrees, and then leans down to take Steve’s mouth one more time.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Whiplash [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652311) by [Slap-n-Tickle (Robin_tCJ)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_tCJ/pseuds/Slap-n-Tickle)




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